CruftBucket

# Why don’t men wear tight underwear?
It cuts off circulation to the brain!

# What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need……..
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need

# What’s the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men?
Wife saying she wants to talk to him.

# How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
No one knows, the ex-wife always gets the house.

# Why is dating like a game of cards?
Because if you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

# What’s the difference between a man and a chimpanzee?
One is hairy, smelly and is always scratching himself. The other is a chimpanzee.

# Why women like bidets?
Because men don’t know what they are.

# How do you scare a man ?
Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

# Husband: I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don’t you?

# Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.

# Why don’t men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.

# How does a man show he’s planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

# How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.

# How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don’t know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get, or how long it’ll stay.

# Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.

# What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.

# What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.

# How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini.

# What’s the best way to kill a man?
Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

# Why do women make better soldiers than men?
Because they can bleed for a week and still not die

… Well maybe not the whole truth.

Since posting the truth about women, it’s only fair to post the supposed ‘truth’ about men.

Thanks for the list Meg.

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