CruftBucket

True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.
It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived.
She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome and didn’t really want to overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and couldn’t say a word.
She said, "I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.
I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside.
With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.
The moral of this story is: "Always keep your condoms in your car"
Found at IRCQuotes »

A 100 year old British man told on Wednesday how he fought off a gang of teenage muggers using "kung fu".

After a night at the pub, Buster Martin began to head home. On his way home Buster Martin showed that, even at 100, he still knew how to handle himself when he was confronted by the teenagers after a night at the pub.
Read more at daily cognition »

In case you don’t speak German (just as this hacker), I’ve tried a little translation to English. I might have made some spelling errors, but the original spelling wasn’t perfect either. The guy really said "buy buy" in the German version.

For information:

• The dangerous hacker is called bitchchecker and the one being hacked and original author of the comments, who is talking here, is known as Elch.

• 127.0.0.1 is always the IP address of the computer you’re currently using; any request there will return to your computer.

• Notice that in Germany we get Daylight Savings Time (DST) earlier than in the US.

Read more at electric escape »